Yellow Yellow Dirty Fellow

on Sunday, July 11, 2010

Never have I played around with my loyalties so frequently before. At least I don't seem to remember any. And for what, for a game I'm not really fan of. Don't even know what were the top ranking teams, in order, contending for the championship. Don't know the top soccer clubs and their key strikers, mid-fielders or defenders. Don't understand how really 'off-side' comes in to play. Still, I happened to watch too many of matches for my standards from FIFA'10, and so the story.


For some reasons, that are entirely unknown to me, most often than not - I happen to side with the 'underdogs'. So, no real exceptions in FIFA'10. Had many occasions to celebrate while my 'technological friends' snubbed Brazilian and Argentinian exit. Coming into the finals and everyone - literally - was rooting for Spain. Before the contest, one friend asked me to msg the final score - for she was going to bed and Spain was an undoubted winner for her. For a change, even I was siding with the favorites - the Spanish.

Having set the alarm for 23:50 Hrs, I was pretty sure of not missing even a single moment of live action. Still, impeccably (un)timed urge for coffee and even worse timed - my 'technological' friend's urge for cold-drink snatched first 10-12 minutes of extravaganza. Deciding against humid and overcrowded Shivalik's TV room, we finally settled into humid and overcrowded Satpura's TV room. I contributed my bit to omnipresent commotion among other enthusiasts - most of whom were ardently cheering for the blue jersey (disclaimer- I'm not really good at identifying the colors). Even the commentator was expecting or should I say - predicting, a dominating show by the Spanish. To everyone's [pleasant] surprise, men in orange were looking much dangerous than what was expected. Dutch defense was so solid that the best attack in world soccer, as my soccer expert friend updated me, was looking helpless. Be it half time or the stipulated full time, you could hardly choose the winner. Had this not been some non-sporting defense from Spanish; had Robben been able to hold onto the ball for one more moment; had referee awarded the free-kick, deservedly, at that moment and place; had the corner been signaled, correctly, just before the now-called-'golden-goal' ; entire world would have been painted in orange by now.

But destiny had other ideas and so did the referee. I don't have much of soccer watching experience. Nevertheless, 12 yellow cards (or may be 11) - 8 of them against the orange color, almost 40 free kicks, so many events getting un-noticed and so many perceived incorrectly, and you must be thinking - did we really had the better team as champion. For me, I opted to cheer for Spain before the game and was undecided for almost full time. At the end of the game, whatever may be the result, for me Dutch were the winners; they were written off by media much before the game, 'Paul Baba' had already cursed them, and they came out with such a splendid performance. Lets face the truth, how is a team supposed to play its natural game when 7 of its playing 11 are fearing an exit any moment. Rather we should count 7 out of 10 as referee could not have taken out his frustration or biasing against the keeper. Match of such an importance and intensity, everyone playing for glory of himself and his nation, where moments create and decimate heroes; and then you put virtually entire team on 'yellow' belt. Then as the worst fears came alive, Hettinga gets second yellow card in 109th minute. What a time! what a decision!! A 10 men underdog team with 6 other players on yellow card, up against the world cup favorites in the dying moments of a history defining final. No unit, not even Brazil or Argentina would have done anything under such pathetic conditions. Referee Wobb still had his role to play and yes the bad dream was not over yet. 114th minute of game, 5 more minutes to go and this time a corner is denied. How long could the orange have resisted. 116th minute and the game was over. As a matter of fact, it was over much before that. When 7 players got yellow cards one after the yellow, and when Netherlands was left with only 10 players.

To be fair to the Spanish, they are a wonderful team, may be the best, they are the European champions and were deservedly the cup favorites. They are the cup holders now. But may painful questions have popped out, taking the shine off their victory. What is painful is the way events have transpired at soccer city stadium. Why the most popular and wealthiest game so much dependent on a single person's whims. When billions of dollars are spent on promoting and hosting the event, organizing laser shows and fancy videos; why the authorities are hell bent against a little help from latest technology. No! technology won't take away the energy and enthusiasm out of soccer. On the contrary, referee spends too much time arguing with the players at such crucial moments which would be saved, and even more precious thing that will be saved will be glory of game.

I had always heard that world was either Black or White. Then I realized their are shades of Grey which life throw on to you; but today I encountered a new shade - a new color - Yellow, Dirty Yellow!!

Love-story thi?........ Sad! Very Sad!!

on Sunday, July 4, 2010

Why this has to be night always, why always the darkness?
May be the darkness helps me see clear, helps me see how I've lost sense of real world. May be to make me realize that dreams are meant for unlit, un-spoken land of sleep, utterly disjoint from shiny, noisy real world. How long shall I keep pretending, how long shall I fool myself. How long I'll fight to be human among this horde of 'social animals'. I can't sacrifice each relationship on this altar of imaginative Gods. How many do I have to do so anyways. How long before I'll have lost every single of them and then what? Myself maybe?

I know, and know it well. There is definitely something wrong with me. I can't take off my colored glasses, can't hold escaping the realism. Fantasies exist in Hogwart's school of magic, not in an Institution of technology; dreams come alive on realm of Narnia, not on the globe I live. Those are meant to be broken eventually. So did Maradona's. I was celebrating while this brave, legendary human being was trying to console others. He fought though, he fought and he lost. Lost to a worthy winner. Who am I fighting - those who care for me. Yes! How dare they? How dare somebody love me? Just remember - a cursed creature can be pitied but not loved.

I'm sure of one thing now, I just love my miseries, self-inflicted wounds. I simply can't do without my regular dose of 'self-killing' drug. See, I'm not worried though, rather I'm proud, proud of this insanity. This is my hallmark, separates me from rest of the herd.
What a time to celebrate the pain it is - Monsoon Gods are laughing at plight of this atheistic soul. May be they are not laughing, they are crying, slashing the mother nature with their tears, for - even they don't know how to decide it's fate.
And what a way to celebrate it. Playing with eternal emotions, finding solace in another unreal world. Another celluloid story! Living in the story and then writing one of my own!
Question is - how do I end this one or more appropriately how will it end itself?
May be like the synthetic one I just lived :

"Love story thi? [some love story it was?]"
"yes"
"Sad! Very sad!!"

Or may be not; I may not be a story teller, but at least I've found a way to say what I never could. This can't be sad. Being sensitive is not a curse. It makes me feel the pain, but it also makes me live the bliss. Bliss not everyone can boast off, most even don't know if it exists. No, This is not a sad story. This is a story of tears, tears of joy these are!